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The Dear God Archives - The Tooth Fairy
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MESSAGE TO GOD
Dear God,

Does the Tooth Fairy really exist?

Sarah Potter
 
THE WORD OF GOD
Dear Sarah,

You are the 419,732nd human to ask me this question, so I am going to answer this one for the records. Be assured that the Tooth Fairy is just as real as I am, even if your older and so-called wiser friends tease you about believing in her. You just need to have faith and believe in the Tooth Fairy, and she will monetarily compensate you for your teeth if you place them under your pillow at night and fall to sleep before your parents go to bed.

A little word of advice from God - never tell your parents that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy, because this will cause the Tooth Fairy to stop bringing you the cold hard cash money you deserve for your teeth.

God
 
MESSAGE TO GOD
Dear God,

My parents said that the tooth fairy wasn't real. Are you sure this site is true?

Rachel
 
THE WORD OF GOD
Dear Rachel,

Yes, I am sure that this site is true because I write the answers myself. The Tooth Fairy exists in your mind and in your heart in the same way that I do. She is a kind and benevolent fairy - not that evil old lady from the horrible movie Darkness Falls! And unlike some adults that I won't mention by name, she is generous enough to pay a fair price to compensate you for the pain and suffering you experience when you pull out your baby teeth.

God
 
 
 
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